Unavailable 


All of the feelings are still here

But you force me to suppress them, redirect them 

You only allow me to have a piece of you 

Never all of you 

So I take what I can get 

In hopes that one day maybe you might give more 

Never knowing for sure…
I’m lying to myself because I know how selfish you are 

How emotionally unavailable you are 

We had something 

When it died

Better yet when you killed it 

Better yet when you forced me to push my feelings aside to survive 

The residue remained 

And I can’t get it off me 

So I wait on stolen moments with you to feel the high 

I get lost staring into your eyes 

I rub the freckles on your faces 

Pinch you side just to see you smile 

And I hate when I have to resurface 

When I have to push all that aside because you won’t let me 

You won’t let me 
I feel all of the things I felt before but you won’t let me 

You have no space for me 

In my heart 

There is an emptiness 

There is a chill about it 

Because I have learned to numb the feelings and push them to the side 

Now they say I won’t let them in

And I only give so much 

But you wouldn’t let me 

And I learned from the best 

So now I’m no longer available in the same ways I wanted you to be 

Damn 

Now there is no space in the place I once held for your love 

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